The makeup of a family may have come a long way in the past few years, but even in 2021 there are still many people who question others when they see a family that doesn’t fit their version of an ideal family.
Crystal Douglas and her husband have three children, all through adoption.
“We were not able to have our own biological children,” she said. “And all we wanted was one. But [God] blessed us with three.”
Two of her daughters are biological sisters, while Crystal’s youngest, Riley, 2, is not.
Although they’ve had Riley since birth and her adoption was finalized in October 2019, the family still gets bombarded with questions.
Why? Riley is white, and the rest of her family is Black.
“People ask if we’re babysitting her. We’ll say no, she’s ours,” Crystal said.
Crystal said most times people won’t say anything and they’ll just stare. But what gets them even more confused is when either she or her husband talk to Riley and refer to themselves as “mommy” and “daddy.”
And the questions don’t just come from adults. They get asked about their relationship even at daycare.
Crystal, who shares her family’s life on YouTube, said she teaches her older girls about race and how it impacts their every day lives.
We’ve always tried to teach our older girls there’s no difference in color. There’s a difference in how we’re treated. There’s a difference in the response we get from others. But for us, we’re all the same. But we still have to teach the girls even though we understand it here, everybody on the outside doesn’t get that. So we have to address it.
She wonders when she’ll have a similar conversation with Riley or if she’ll recognize that she’s different from her sister and bring it up on her own.
But for now her family is focused on loving everyone just as they are.
From 2005 to 2019, the number of transracial adoptions increased from 23% to 28%. That number was more dramatic for Black children, 21% to 33%. However between 2017 and 2019, fewer than 30% of all adoptions were transracial.
It saddens me when a family opens up their home to a child and then someone has to make a rude comment or make them feel uncomfortable.
Whatever happened to not saying anything or simply walking away if you don’t agree with them?
Please share if you believe everyone should experience love from a family no matter the color of their skin.
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